Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Randomize
