When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
Randomize
