I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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