I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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