please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
