well I can't set my house on fire every night
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
