My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
