I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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