covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
