Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Ladies don't puke and tell
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
