All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
