very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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