Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
My vagina just clenched in fear
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
