i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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