Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
