I'm so fucking centered right now
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
