Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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