so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
my nose is crying tears of wow.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
