i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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