Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
