We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
