Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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