Nicole vs. Life
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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