i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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