Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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