I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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