I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
