she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
