we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
