I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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