dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I could have mohawked her pubes.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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