can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
