I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
