Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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