So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
