Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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