Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
