I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
