i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
