Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
