what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
