I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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