Kareoke will never be a sober sport
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
