i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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