Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
