Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
