apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
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