your thong is hanging out like whoa
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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