Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
