Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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