we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
