laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
